How boys can become men
Ja, han er laaaang...
Jeg leser ikke så mye Esquire, men via ei lenke kom jeg over denne artikkelen skrevet av basketlegenden Kareem Abdul Jabar. Tenkte (fordomsfult nok) at det sikkert var litt platt med innslag av macho, men der bommet jeg. Artikkelen er riktignok politisk korrekt og sånn, men det er sjelden noe negativt i mine øyne. Enkle, jordnære, men godt forklarte råd for store gutter på vei til å bli menn...
Anbefalt lesning for alle, men særlig dere yngre menn (som vet hvem dere er...)
Her er noen utdrag:
2. Stand up for yourself and your beliefs.
British statesman Edmund Burke once said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." That’s one of my favorite quotes because it reminds me that it’s not enough to have lofty ideals and beliefs, you sometimes have to actually get off the couch and defend those beliefs. This is especially hard when you’re hanging with your friends and they all express an opinion that is the opposite of yours. Because you’re outnumbered, it’s easy for them to ridicule your opinion. Be strong. Defend your opinions and beliefs. If you think it’s wrong to be racist but someone in your group says something racist (or sexist, or ant-Semitic, or anti-gay), then tell them you don’t agree and that you don’t think they should make such statements. That’s how these verbal bullies are eventually defeated. More important, you’ll feel proud that you took a stand. Those moments you do nothing will haunt you for a long time.
3. Avoid a physical fight—if you can.
...What do you do if someone threatens you with violence? You walk away, even run away if necessary. Even if you’re pretty sure you could take him. Bad things can happen in a fight, even if no one means them to. Someone can take an unexpected fall and crack his head open. Teeth can be knocked out. Facial bones can be cracked. And all the crying later about how “it was an accident!” won’t change that.
So, if you’re threatened, leave and tell your parents. Some people are of the belief that you should just go right after the bully, fighting him to show you’re not afraid. While this works well in movies, it doesn’t work as well in real life. These days violence tends to beget violence. The bully doesn’t just slink away, he returns with a baseball bat—or worse. You can still stand up for yourself without resorting to violence: that’s what Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Cesar Chavez, the Buddha, and Jesus did.
4. Play a team sport.
...I’m all for individual sports—as I mentioned, I did martial arts for many years and also yoga. (Don’t think it’s a sport? Try it!) But playing on a team teaches you how to interact with others, adjust to various personalities, work together as a team, be generous, and many other character-building traits. The cool part is that you don’t have to join an organized team; you can just go down to the playground or open gym and play pick-up basketball or volleyball.
8. Be politically aware.
One clear difference between children and adults is an awareness of your community outside your circle of friends and family. The world is constantly changing. Whether it changes for the better or the worse depends on the actions of those willing to get involved. Kids who don’t know anything about their world try to hide it by saying, “I don’t really care. It doesn’t affect me.” But that just confirms that they wish to remain children and have adults tell them what to do and think. Part of being a man is to be informed so you are prepared to take an active and responsible place in your society. Read newspapers, magazines, watch the news. Discuss these subjects with your friends, but always while respecting each other’s opinions.
11. Stay fit.
It’s hard for all those teenage boys with turbo-charged metabolisms to understand that their bodies will not always be evaporating the masses of greasy calories they consume. They can eat a pizza and a tub of ice cream, then run three miles. They can’t imagine that will ever change, even when you show them photos of their lean dads’ as teens and they look at the potbellies that have miraculously appeared later. But eating somewhat healthily and maintaining an exercise regimen will not only help fight off diseases and aging, they’ll also help ensure an active lifestyle for many years. In other words, the body is like any machine: It may run great when it's new, but after years of neglect it will slow down, and eventually break down. Then you’re the one vegging on the sofa while your pals are playing pick-up ball at the gym.
15. Be independent.
A man can take care of his own daily needs. In fact, he wants to. Make your bed, do your laundry, learn to cook, hang up your clothes. Slovenliness is the sign of an immature mind. The sooner you start doing things for yourself, the sooner you will have the respect of others—and of yourself.
17. Get smart.
Making up your own mind doesn’t mean “going with your gut,” “listening to your heart,” or any other such clichés, however. That’s the lazy man’s way of avoiding the work that comes with developing an informed opinion. Want to express an opinion about the election, the death penalty, or gay marriage? First, do your research. Don’t rely on biased sources. Your goal is to find the truth, not just confirm an opinion you already held. Every time you express an uninformed opinion, others will dismiss you as a child, someone who can only parrot others’ opinions. A man knows how to educate himself in pursuit of truth.
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